HANH TAT

This is the earliest photograph I have of myself, taken at the refugee camp shortly after arriving in the UK. I didn’t get to keep the dog.

My family and I came to the UK as Vietnamese refugees (we’re Chinese but were born in Vietnam). I wrote about this in my book, Life as a Jigsaw Puzzle, from which I have taken this extract:

“Those who were alive and can remember back to the 1970s may recall the Boat People, people who fled Vietnam in wooden boats under treacherous conditions, often unsure of their final destination, simply seeking safer shores. Many lost their lives during those times, entire boats crammed with people fleeing oppression and hoping for freedom eradicated by the rage of violent seas.

The wooden boat we were in was burdened with over double the boat’s capacity of passengers, with very little food and water and woefully inadequate sanitation. One of my sisters nearly fatally suffocated from lack of oxygen below deck where we were stowed. Another sister saw the body of a baby that had died on board thrown overboard, not out of heartlessness, but out of sheer necessity. As I write this, I am startled to find myself crying for the grief of the baby’s parents.

By the goodness of grace, our little boat was rescued by a British ship and we eventually were brought safely to the UK, albeit with virtually just the shirts on our backs, having both sacrificed and lost all of our worldly possessions in search of freedom. With no money and only the clothes we were wearing to our names, we relied on the charity and generosity of the British government and public to provide us with our basic needs, for which we were truly grateful. Through my parents’ resilience and strong work ethic, working every hour god sent, and their ability to economise, spending any money we had as wisely and frugally as possible, in time we were able to forge a simple but comfortable life for ourselves.

This start in life profoundly coloured my life perspective and gave me an appreciation for the little things, like a roof over my head and food in my belly. It also gifted me with tenacity, resilience and fortitude. Before I learnt about self-love, I was pretty nonchalant about this chapter of my life, always regarding it as no big deal. But since embarking on my self-love journey, I’ve come to develop a deep appreciation and reverence for what my family and I endured and the role it played in shaping me, and I now no longer have any qualms about expressing this openly and proudly.

My story doesn’t make me special. There are millions of people around the world with similar stories to mine. None of us is more or less special than anyone else. But equally, we are each and every one of us special in our own uniqueness. There will only ever be one of me, with my unique view of the world based on my unique personality and life experience, just like there will only ever be one of you, with yours. And the more we individually and collectively embrace our own and others’ uniqueness, the more we realise that whilst we are all different, we are all connected through our collective humanity. Acceptance of our fellow humans living on this planet of ours helps us to become more compassionate towards each other. And thus self-love becomes love generally and universally.”