HANH TAT

“When we put love at the heart of what we do, we find truth and magic happens.”

I didn’t consciously think this thought. It emerged as a message from my heart that made its way up my vagus nerve towards my skull and popped into my brain as a thought.

This might sound a little woo-woo to anyone unfamiliar with heart-brain coherence (which asserts that bi-directional communication exists between the heart and the brain, via the vagus nerve, so the heart can send messages to the brain as well as vice versa), but that’s how it happened for me with this thought.

Such was the nature of its emergence that its meaning wasn’t immediately obvious and required contemplation to decipher.

Initially, I questioned the usefulness of a quote if it needs explanation, but life is nuanced and sometimes concepts can’t simply be encapsulated in a nice, neat sentence and deserve a thorough airing. And this is one of those instances.

I quickly realised that this simple phrase is multifaceted and can be applied to many areas of our lives, with the secret lying in our definition and interpretation of its primary terms.

LOVE:
For this quote to have its fullest meaning and to do love justice, we need to expand our concept of love to encompass the widest scope and broadest definition possible, as I explain in more detail in my book, Life as a Jigsaw Puzzle (where the following quotes are extracted).

The scope of love needs to not be confined to just romantic love, as often happens, but to reach out as far as possible, ‘from love for ourselves, our loved ones, people we know and even those we don’t know, right through to our beloved planet’.

Similarly, the definition of love needs to be as broad as possible, ‘as a way of being…as an umbrella term for all the other loving ways of being, such as kindness, compassion, patience, gentleness, acceptance and forgiveness’.

Once we establish this as our scope and definition of love, the ability to apply the quote to our lives becomes virtually unbounded.

TRUTH:
The truth we find is the inherent goodness in all of us; the purity of who we all truly are at our deepest core, underneath all our conditioning accumulated over our lifetimes.

MAGIC:
The magic that happens is an outcome that contributes to the higher good.

SCENARIOS:
So for parenting, if the love we put in our hearts is the aspiration to parent consciously and always in our children’s best interests, then the truth we find is both our own capacity for loving-kindness, compassion and patience as well as our children’s intrinsic worth and potential. And the magic that happens is that we grow our own attitudinal muscles for patience and compassion and we help our children thrive.

And when we ‘mess up’ in our parenting (and find ourselves getting cross with our children, for instance), if the love we put in our hearts is to have compassion for ourselves, to accept that we are only human and bound to make mistakes and let go of guilt, then the truth we find is that we are trying our best to navigate the challenges of modern parenting (even if it doesn’t feel like we’re doing very well at times). And, the magic that happens is that through releasing guilt, we make space in our hearts and minds to be more present in relating to our children, providing scope for deepening our parent-child bonds.

When we come across people in our daily lives (shop assistants, passers-by), if the love we put in our hearts is the choosing to be kind and friendly, the truth we find is a realisation of our shared humanity and connectedness. And, the magic that happens through that interaction and connection (even with strangers) is the release of feel-good hormones such as oxytocin and serotonin in both ourselves and the other person, nurturing the well-being of both parties.

In the workplace, if the love we put in our hearts is the intention to be collaborative and supportive of each other, then the truth we find is that more can be achieved if we see each other as allies rather than competitors, and the magic that happens is that creative solutions are found without leading to animosity, even if disagreements or conflicts arise.

I’d love to hear your examples of where you’ve applied this quote in your lives in the comments below.