HANH TAT

For many, the last 4-5 years have served as a call to seek a higher truth, a deeper meaning to our existence. Some will heed that call. Others will hit the snooze button. Neither way is right or wrong. No coercion or persuasion is necessary on anyone’s part. Somewhere deep down, people will either sense and know that there is truth in this, even if it is merely the faintest flicker of recognition, or not. After that, it’s simply a matter of choice whether or not to follow that whisper of curiosity.

Often, this call will come in the form of a difficult life event that challenges our sense of identity, something that forces us to question who we are. This was how it was for me and whilst I experienced it in my personal life, this can equally apply in our professional lives too.

As adults and professionals, we usually take our roles in life (as parents, as spouses, in our careers, etc.) very seriously and this is admirable as it makes us conscientious people. Others can rely on us and it creates the foundations for civilised society.

The roles we play and the things we do then make up our identity (I’m a mother, a writer, a snowboarder, etc.) which we equate to being who we are. Sometimes we cling tightly to our identities, inaccurately believing that they define us and determine our worth. This was certainly true for me and was brought into stark focus when my marriage broke down and my identity, my sense of who I was, as a wife and mother, was shattered.

Learning about spirituality provided a way for me to zoom out and see things from a more neutral perspective. Without going into the detail of what spirituality entails, which would be a book in itself, the simple knowing that we are souls having a human experience and nothing that happens externally can injure our true essence (it’s only our mentally constructed egos that are hurt by the actions of others when we allow them to be) allowed me to reach acceptance and forgiveness (which I wrote about in ‘Life as a Jigsaw Puzzle’) much quicker than I would have otherwise done, empowering me to cultivate a positive and collaborative co-parenting relationship with my now ex-husband that is in greater service to our sons.

For me, spirituality isn’t a way to escape from life and our challenges, but a path to get deeper into life and become more present with it, by becoming more in tune with our internal world so that we can sit with all our emotions, even the uncomfortable and difficult ones and process them in a more empowered way. It allowed me to stay anchored and grounded within myself without getting lost to the turmoil of everything that was happening around me.

Perspective is key to determining our subjective experience of all things in life. Our thoughts and emotions can lead us to some very dark places if we’re not conscious of them, or don’t have the tools to help ourselves understand and process them in helpful ways. Therefore if we can choose a perspective which allows space for us to hold our identities lightly, it helps us not be plagued by our thoughts and emotions when our identities are threatened.

And even if one doesn’t believe in the soul, consciously choosing to at least entertain this concept and meditating on it can help deliver a measure of inner peace when our outer reality appears threatening.

Believing in the soul and not attaching to our identities doesn’t mean that we can’t still take the responsibilities of our roles seriously and carry them out conscientiously, but our sense of self becomes underpinned by a deeper sense and knowing of who we truly are, of our true nature, allowing us to choose a higher perspective when faced with challenges. This allows us to find that inner peace and stillness needed to quell the mind and calm the inner turmoil during difficult times so that we can live our lives with more ease and grace.

Click the linked text to read my free-verse reflecting this called, ‘Embrace Your Nothing to be Your Everything‘.